We have arrived. Finally, after 8 months of getting up once during the night to diaper and nurse my little guy (usually at 4 am), he is finally sleeping completely through the night. Twelve hours, sometimes even more. It's fantastic.
At least that's what I tell people as I nod enthusiastically. "Oh yeah. It's great," I say with a smile.
I can't bear to tell these well-wishers the full truth. That even though Fionny is sleeping through the night, I'm still not getting a full night's sleep. This time, however, our little guy isn't to blame. Instead, I am afraid I have a pretty nasty case of insomnia.
I have been plagued with insomnia throughout my adult life from time to time. Usually it's driven by some sort of anxiety or stress. A big test, a job interview, my wedding day, Christmas morning...that sort of thing. But this...I'm at a loss. I don't feel like I'm anxious, at least no more than usual. And yet, sleep alludes me. I am usually able to fall asleep fairly easily, but I wake up like clockwork about 4 hours later. And then I have the darndest time falling back to sleep.
The most frustrating thing about insomnia is that it's a terrible perpetuating cycle. You have a few bad nights, and your brain starts to play tricks on you. Such as this awful cognitive merry-go-round that I found myself on last night as I was drifting off to sleep:
Boy, I'm relaxed. Maybe the insomnia won't be a problem tonight. Just relax and let myself fall back to sleep...Am I asleep yet? Oh no, I just woke myself back up! What if I can't sleep again tonight? I'll be so tired tomorrow, and I won't have enough energy to play with Fionn. Oh no, I'm making myself anxious. Now I'll never get to sleep!
And then a few hours later...
Oh God, what time is it? I'm still not asleep? Tomorrow is going to SUCK! Okay, it's okay. If I get to sleep right now, I could still get 6 hours of sleep. Unless, of course, Fionny wakes up earlier than usual. Oh no...this is terrible.
I ended up getting about 5 hours of sleep total last night which is about standard for me these days. It's not enough by a long shot. However, I will say that it is amazing the things you get used to as a parent. I used to be an 8-hours-a-night kinda girl. Any less and I was a total mess -- falling asleep at my desk, what have you. Now? I get 6 hours, and I feel like I'm walkin' on sunshine. Ah, parenthood. It's all about lowering those expectations for yourself, right?
Okay, but enough about my silly insomnia. Let's move on to happier topics. Such as Our Boy.
Our little stinker is over 8 months old now, can you believe it? He is such a little rascal, fiery as all get-out and just downright hilarious. Fionn's latest trick is giving us "moochies" (otherwise known as kisses) upon request. He leans in, opens his mouth, and lays one on ya! It's so cute, albeit a little sloppy and gross at times.
Fionn is such a little social creature. He is definitely his Daddy's son and gets bored when he doesn't have constant stimulation and new people and experiences. As a result, my task as his mom is to provide as many outlets as possible for the little man to experience new things and play with other kids. I have been lucky enough to find some great mom friends in my neighborhood, and we get together weekly for a play date with our little guys. Two of the kiddos are right around the same age as Fionn as you can see from this picture. They look like triplets, right? That's Fionn on the left in case you can't tell them apart.
Fionn is also obsessed with my laptop. Obsessed. He loves to touch his little fingers to the keys and watch things change on the screen. Once again, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree on that one either, huh? By the way, this is probably a good time to apologize for any weird emails you might have received that looked something like this:
skdfjnalskdnf'laksdjf'oapiewp0wiok/sdlfaj/lsd
Yeah, that's courtesy of the Fionnster. In case you don't believe me, here is a pic of our boy in front of the laptop where he would spend all of his time if we let him. He's hammering out those TPS reports, no doubt. A baby's work is never done, you know.
Aside from his developing personality and budding fascination with technology, Fionn continues to astound us with his physical development. Of course, as you know, he has been crawling around and pulling up for awhile now. Here is a recent pic from the Building Museum which we visited last week. Fionny was using my legs to pull-up, as you can see.
Over the past couple of weeks, Fionn has become increasingly able to stand on his own without any support from Mommy's legs or any of the furniture. He does what I call "carpet surfing" where he lets go of whatever surface he is holding onto for support and stands independently for an impressive handful of seconds, his little body swaying slightly as he uses his core muscles to steady himself. I think it's only a matter of time before he takes those first steps. Gulp.
Walking and crawling aside, however, here is the thing that really blew me away. It just happened the other day. So I went to the nursery to fetch Fionn after his nap. Nothing unusual, just another day in the Crimmins household. However, as I'm picking Fionny up from his crib, I notice something strange. His all-time favorite book, The Rainbow Fish, is lying face down in the crib next to his blanket. Hmm...that's strange, I thought. I don't put books in Fionny's crib. Then I notice that the rocking chair is turned toward the crib in a strange fashion. It's then that I remember that The Rainbow Fish had been tucked neatly into the cushion of the rocking chair when I went to put Fionn down for his nap. I often tuck it there instead of putting it back in the bookshelf because we read it so frequently.
So, in case this isn't making any sense to you (and believe me, it took a few seconds to sink in for me)...my son reached through the slats of his crib, turned the rocking chair toward him and successfully secured his favorite book. Then he pulled it into the crib with him. And this is no small book, mind you. It's a board book and therefore rather substantial in weight and approximately the shape and size of a standard magazine.
I was incredulous -- and definitely had to rethink what I leave within arm's length of the crib! Guess I'll have to think of another place to store that steak knife set. Hardy har.
I know I've said it before, but I will say it again. They grow up so fast. So stinkin' fast.
I should probably run because I am not paying proper attention to the game at hand. Yes, indeedy, I'm typing this as we watch the Superbowl. Go, Pack, go!
No comments:
Post a Comment