I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

This past weekend we celebrated one of the most cherished holiday traditions in the Crimmins household.

Ye olde Tacky Christmas Sweater Party.

Are you my new Mommy and Daddy?

Don't be alarmed!  Conor and I did not magically morph into better looking people overnight.  Those are just our friends, Sarah and John, who happened to attend our party wearing t-shirts that perfectly matched the sweater of our boy.  Were we going to miss such a prime photo op?  Heck, no!  Fionn actually seemed pretty comfortable sitting between Sarah and John on the couch.  It was a little unnerving.

But I digress.  Here is our official 2011 Tacky Christmas Sweater Family Photo.  Because every family has one of those made annually, right?

In case you can't truly tell from this photo representation, my sweater lit up.  I mean, it literally had its own battery pack (this, of course, was conveniently tucked into a red stocking which was also part of this glamorous little number).  The sweater also had a "blinking" option which I chose to employ whenever a conversation drug on a little too long.  "What was that?  You're having trouble concentrating on your story about your recent work project?  I'm so sorry!  I wish I could make this sweater stop blinking, but it is beyond my control!"  Haha.

I think this was our 4th Tacky Christmas Sweater Party, and I have to say that I enjoyed it more than any of our past parties.  I'm not sure why exactly.  Maybe it was the nice blend of adults and kids.  (I say this, of course, as a mother of a boisterous little boy.  I'm pretty sure I heard some of the singletons refer to the party as "birth control" at least twice.)  Maybe it was the fact that I did so much of the preparations ahead of time that I was able to enjoy myself more at the party.  Or maybe it was the special visit by The Big Guy.

Yep, that's my hubby underneath all that red faux velvet.  He surprised (and horrified) all the children by entering the party in a newly purchased (from e-Bay) Santa suit.  Poor Conor.  He only wanted to spread some Christmas cheer, but I think he re-traumatized half the children at the party.  Many of these scared children were coming right off the heels of their first Santa at the Mall experience the previous week.  So you can hardly blame them.  But Conor felt a little crushed by the reaction.

Well, there was one kid who didn't shed a tear (at least for this Santa experience -- more on that in a bit).  Our boy.  He took one look at Conor, pulled down the white beard, and exclaimed "Dada!"  Doh.  Outed.

As the party drew to a close, I took a few pictures to capture what it means to have a "family-friendly" party at our house these days.

Haha!  Gotta love it.

Okay, I will sign off here by coming back to my previous statement about Fionn and Santa Clause.  Don't be fooled by his reaction to Conor Clause.  Because, let's be honest, I definitely let it get my hopes up that Fionn would react well to the Real Deal.  (And by "Real Deal" I mean Mall Santa.)  Yeah, not so much.

So the Monday after the party, I toted Fionn to the mall to see Santa.  We went with two of his best buds, Zach and James, who were also featured in the last post regarding the train display.

Let's just say that it was not pretty, folks.  It was not pretty at all.  Lots of tears.  Loads of screaming.  One precious moment captured in time.

Can I ask for a new mama for Christmas?

I'm pretty sure this makes me a bad mother, but I can't look at this picture without cracking up.

Happy holidays, all!  I'll write when we return from Minnesota where we are spending the holidays this year.  Here we come, Crimmins Clan! 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Howdy, friends!  It has been ages since I posted, I know.  Sorry for the silent treatment.  December has been wonderful but completely nutty/busy so far.  Lots of parties, shopping, decorating, Christmas card addressing...you know the drill.  I thought about waiting until after Christmas to post again because things have been so crazy.  But I just couldn't do it.  I had to post something about how wonderful this Christmas has been so far.

I should start by saying that my husband is obsessed with Christmas.  Obsessed.  He actually has a beef with Thanksgiving because he thinks that it steals the rightful thunder from Christmas.  (BTW, as someone who once worked in retail, I would beg to differ.)  Anyway, my husband is like a kid himself around the holidays.  He gets so excited about the lights, the presents, the music, the movies.  It's actually pretty cute.  And it's definitely infectious.  Here is a pic of our Christmas lights this year.  We toned it down a bit from last year.  Conor has a tendency to go a little Griswold on me, if you know what I mean.  I'm trying to keep it classy, San Diego.

Another thing that's infectious?  Being the Mama of a delightful little boy who is starting to notice the wonderment of Christmas.  Don't get me wrong.  Fionn definitely doesn't understand the whole Santa thing.  Or the whole Mary, Joseph and Jesus thing.  And the goodwill to men and peace on earth thing is completely lost on him, of course.

What he does understand, however, is that Christmas means cookies.  Cookies at parties, cookies on display at the grocery, cookies being baked in the kitchen by Mama (these are the hardest to resist for my little guy).  Oh, how Fionny loves himself some cookies.  He refers to them as "coo-coos" and he has a one-track mind when it comes to them.  We literally have to spell out the word "cookie" these days because as soon as we say the "C" word, it's all over.  He is relentless.  Relentless, I tell you.

Aside from Christmas cookies, Fionn has also enjoyed some of the special events that make up the holiday season in DC. The highlight so far as been the trains at the US Botanical Garden.  Oh, the trains, the trains.  They are, quite simply, incredible.  If you live in the DC area...GO!!  The buildings along the rails are made completely from natural materials (think twigs and plants), and it is really pretty amazing.  The following photo really doesn't do it justice, but here goes anyway.

 Fionny just loved running alongside the trains until they disappeared into a tunnel -- only to reappear again a few seconds later.  His face just lit up with excitement, and it was just so much fun to be a witness to his joy.  There is nothing quite like seeing your child experiencing pure happiness, is there?  You just can't beat it.

Even better, we were able to share the experience with some of Fionn's best friends: Zach, James, and Casey (and their mommies, Clarissa and Hillary).  These special friends live in our neighborhood, and we have the opportunity to get together on a weekly basis which has been so wonderful for Fionn (and for me).  "Zach" is one of Fionn's favorite words now!  Cute, right?

Okay, I know they look extremely bored in this photo, but I swear the kiddos were loving it!

Next week our little group is headed to see Santa, so I'll let you know how that goes.  Get ready, St. Nick!  You have no idea what is coming your way, Old Timer.

Fionn and I also had the special treat of having breakfast with one of my dearest friends, Meg, and her beautiful daughter, Lexie.  Meg and Lexie live in California, so we hardly ever get to see them.  But last week they were in DC on business.  Fionn and I trekked up to Baltimore for a little QT with these lovely ladies.  

Gorgeous ladies -- love them!

What can I say?  My little guy likes the older ladies.

Cheesy Christmas display at Meg's hotel -- had to do it, right?

That's it for now, folks.  Just wanted to dash in, and say a quick "Merry Christmas!"  I'll try to update again after our Tacky Christmas Sweater Party which takes place on Saturday.  It's usually good for a few blog-worthy photos.


Cheers, and Happy Holidays!

Rebel Yell

Hotty toddy, y'all!  As I referenced in my last post, the Crimmins Family just returned from Mississippi where we visited with my family for a long and wonderful week.  Fionny had a wonderful time with his grandparents and other family members.

A kiss for Ganna?  Don't mind if I do!

And Fionn also enjoyed spending QT with another new friend of the furry variety.

Yep, our little bud pretty much went nuts over my mom's little Pomeranian dog, Ellie.  He especially enjoyed walking her around the block near my mom's house.  He gave her quite a workout as you can see!

Feel the burn, Ellie!  No pain, no gain!

Our visits to Mississippi to see my fam used to be pretty chilled out affairs.  We'd sit around my mom's place, sipping Diet Coke, watching Mom's morning TV, and talking.  Maybe I'd go for a run with my dad later.  Maybe not.  It was all pretty leisurely and unplanned.

That all ended when we added our little rascal to the picture.  One thing I have learned about my son over the past (nearly) 18 months.  No activity and no play makes Fionn a very dull boy.  Well, not really.  It actually makes him a pretty fussy boy.  Either way, we knew we had to get our kiddo to some activity -- and STAT!

Thankfully, there is a surprising plethora of things to do in Jackson for kids.  Lots of playgrounds, a fantastic children's museum, great kid-friendly restaurants.  We had a blast!  And we even got a haircut out of the deal.

My Daddy says I look like the guy from Dumb and Dumber, but I think I look handsome.

Here are some more visual highlights from our time in Jackson.

Tickling the ivories with Julie

Ordering up a milkshake at Brent's Drugs (where some of "The Help" was filmed).

My boy and his Ganna -- pure swingers.

TEETER TOTTER!

Serving "tea" to his grandfather

After a few fun-filled days in Jackson, we headed to Oxford for the weekend.  My dad and Julie have a lovely condo right near the Ole Miss campus.  We were able to introduce Fionn to the Grove which is a truly special place.

The Grove is basically tailgating on steroids.  Huge red and blue tents, tons of mouth-watering Southern food, and sometimes (in the case of my dad's tent) even live music.

 Fionn loved all the activity.  But what he REALLY loved was this old double-decker red bus that kept circling around the Grove.  After his first sighting of said bus, anything else of interest around Fionn might as well have disappeared.  "Bus!" our son kept exclaiming excitedly, gesturing toward his most beloved mode of transportation.

As you might imagine, the rest of our experience at the Grove was basically a search and assist mission.  Of the red bus variety.  We walked up and down the sidewalk, looking for the bus.  We chased Fionn down the street as he took off on his own to look for the bus.  Heck, we even rode the darn bus a time or two.  It was NEVER ENOUGH.  "Bus!  Bus!"  Argh.

Dude, where's my bus?

In between bus-searching missions, we managed to see a few family members.  Here is a pic of most of the Crosthwait family, gathered under my dad and Julie's tent.

But this next one is my fave.  Check out this super-cute picture of my dad and four of his siblings.  Aren't they a good-looking bunch?

Fionn also got to press the flesh with Colonel Rebel, the supposedly retired Ole Miss mascot.  I got news for you, folks.  He ain't retired.  He was alive and well at the Grove.  I have proof!

Hey Colonel, didn't you get replaced by a bear or somethin'?

 Most of all, though, Fionn loved spending time with his cousin, Conley, who was born just 10 days before him.  Watching these two together...Oh, my, it just made my face hurt from smiling.  The laughter and squeals.  The babbling back and forth.  It was so wonderful.

So the tailgating and family time in Oxford was pretty stellar.  The football?  Meh.  Not so much.  For any of you who follow SEC football, the Ole Miss team is a pretty sad state of affairs these days.  As my husband declared upon returning home (at half-time, mind you), "They look like 3rd graders out there."  But, hey, Ole Miss fans, don't look at me!  I'm just the messenger.  Or the messenger's messenger, as it were. 

After our weekend in Oxford, we returned to Jackson for another few days.  We hit up the new children's museum which was really incredible.  I am so proud of my home town for designing such an amazing museum for kiddos.  Fionn was a fan too.

We also enjoyed some more park time.  Flowood (the county where my Dad and Julie live) has a fantastic new park.  Fionn was pleased with the park offerings.

Note Elvis tee.  A nod to our Mississippi homeboy.

I cannot fail to mention the highlight of our week o' fun activities in Mississippi, or my husband would be very, very disappointed.  I'll sum it up in three words.  Pump.  It. Up.

Conor became obsessed with the idea of going to this place as soon as we passed by the sign on the highway.  He immediately called to find out the hours for open play time.  "No" was not an option, folks.  Not that I would have said no.  Who can argue with an inflatable party zone? 

It's hard to say who had more fun -- my son or my husband.  I have to say that it was pretty awesome to watch them running around Pump It Up.  I think some of the other kids thought Conor was a hired clown or something.  At one point, a little kid tugged on his shirt and said, "Hey, can you play with me now?"  It was straight out of The Toy.  Haha.

Speaking of toys, Fionn had a special treat waiting for him when we got back to Dad and Julie's after our weekend in Oxford.  Well, two treats actually.  His cousin Butler who is 10 months old...and a tree swing! 

Fionn didn't so much want to wait for the tree.  

Butler and his beautiful mommy, Lanier.

Here cuz...let me give you a push!

 We capped off the week with a visit with Fionn's Uncle Jay who has been working very hard at his hotel management job.  Fionn really enjoyed getting a quick squeeze from his uncle before we headed back to DC.

Mom, Ellie, Jay, and our little Deer in the Headlights.

We've been back now for a full week, and I feel like I'm just starting to get back into the groove again.  But it was worth it.  What an amazing week we had in Mississippi!  Thanks so much to Mom, Dad, and Julie for making it so special for us.

As Thanksgiving approaches tomorrow (whoah!), I am struck by how many blessings I have in this life.  At the top of this list, of course, would be my delightful little boy and my supportive, fantastic husband -- followed very, very closely by our wonderful family and extraordinary friends.  We are lucky folks, Conor and I.  Very lucky indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.  I hope you have a wonderful holiday, filled with delicious food and even more enjoyable company.

Paradise Found

Say it with me...aaaaahhhhh....

Whew!  We are finally home after a very busy few weeks of traveling.  I am mega-behind on everything, of course -- laundry, groceries, emails...and definitely blogging.  So...I'll make you a deal.  I will catch you up bit by bit on our goings-on over the past few weeks as time allows.  Or, more appropriately, as Fionn allows.  Hehe.  The little bugger is currently sleeping off a late bedtime last night of 9 pm, so I've got a few precious minutes before he starts to stir.

I will start with my amazing (A-M-A-Z-I-N-G) girls' trip to Naples, FL the first weekend in November.  Oh, talk about a much-needed vacation!  Two glorious nights in an absolutely GORGEOUS beach condo (thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Barnette!) with some of my best girlfriends.  It was just too heavenly for words.  We talked without interruption, drank wine, sat on the beach, talked without interruption, slept in, ate out at some delicious restaurants, and...talked some more without interruption.  I think you get the drift.  Haha.

Moms Gone Wild.  Not really, but don't we look cute?

Don't get me wrong.  I love it when my grad school friends and I can get together with our families (Well, hello there, President's Day 2012!  We just booked our ginormous house for the weekend!  Yay!).  It is a very special time of togetherness, fun, and pure chaos.  That said, it is truly a wonderful thing to hang out with your girlfriends without the constant tug-of-war between the desire for adult conversation and...well, the task of trying to keep your kid alive.  I just relished it.  I think we all did. 

There was only one problem with the weekend.  Okay, two problems.  #1: It had to end.  And #2: Our dear friend, Sarah Bell Van Oman, was not able to join us because she was busy incubating another beautiful baby who will make his/her appearance in the next few weeks.  We are so excited to meet Baby Girl-or-Boy Van Orman (or #22 as he/she has recently been dubbed because that will be the new total count for our PDWC group after the new babe arrives).  And Sarah definitely made the right decision in staying put in Portsmouth, VA. (We don't know nuthin' about birthin' no babies, Miss Sarah!).  That said, she was missed terribly over the course of the weekend.  We had multiple toasts in her honor.  It was the least we could do, you see.  Hehe.

And speaking of being missed...oh, how I missed my little rascally boy!  As I was soaking up the sun and surf, Fionny was having himself a grand ol' time with his Daddy at the homestead.  Conor was kind enough to keep me updated with pictures and videos of Fionny throughout the weekend.  And I have to say, in looking at the pictures, I don't know if I was missed too much by my darling child.  He and Daddy seemed to be getting on pretty darn fine in my absence.  If there are any doubts about the truth of that statement, here is some living proof.  Conor titled this one "Pride."

Is there anything better than a toddler laughing?  I'm really not sure there is.  Well, maybe chocolate chip cookie dough.  Eh, it's a toss-up.

Okay, that's all for now, folks.  I will return ASAP with some pictures and tales from our week in Jackson, MS with my fam.  But for now...the mountain of laundry calls. 

Trick-Arrrr-Treat!

For Fionn's first Halloween last year, we were on the beaches of Georgia with my dear Mississippi friends.  We dressed Fionn up as a pea in the pod, took some amazing beach photos and called it a day.  He was, after all, only 5 months old.  Not walking.  Not talking.  Not doing...well, much of anything.

Here's a blast from Halloween Past (circa 2010).

Mom and Dad like to pretend I can walk.  But I can't.

A lot has changed in a year.  Our kiddo is walking, talking (sometimes with words that actually intelligible), developing a helluva sweet tooth.  He is, officially,  Halloween ready. 

This year we decided that Fionn would be a pirate.  This wasn't really a premeditated decision on my part.  It was basically the only decent costume at Value Village when I went a-searching about a month ago.  I'm not really a frugal sort, mind you, but I was trying to turn over a new leaf.  I figured Fionn would only wear the costume once in his life -- why spend a fortune?  Well, as it turns out, Fionn had multiple opportunities to wear his costume this year, so I could have forked out a little more dough and still rested easy on my pillow that night.  More on that in just a bit.  Anyway, unnecessary frugality aside, the pirate costume turned out to be pretty great.  It fit our boy to a tee and got rave reviews from the neighbors.  

Okay, so back to Halloween Week.  Yes, apparently, Halloween is no longer just 1 day.  There is a whole itinerary of events that one can participate in during the days leading up to October 31st.  In our neighborhood alone, there were 4 opportunities for Fionn to wear his costume in the week before Halloween.  Let's review, shall we?  There was weekly Tuesday playgroup where kids were encouraged to wear their costumes, a Halloween extravaganza organized by Catholic University (which is right down the street) on Wednesday, a few neighborhood parties on Saturday, and a neighborhood parade on Sunday.  And then, of course, the ACTUAL Halloween was on Monday.

My original intention was to attend every event, dutifully dressing Fionn up in his costume each time.  However, I did not account for 2 things.  First of all, Fionn doesn't wear anything twice without a load of laundry in between.  In short, our kid is a mess.  Snacks, dirt...snacks.  It all ends up on the outfit.  And Halloween was no exception.  By the time we got home from Tuesday playgroup (Costume Wearing Opportunity #1), Fionn's pirate costume had a nice mix of backyard dust, strawberries, and milk all across the chest. Yummy.  So I had to put ye olde costume into the wash.  However, the other thing I did not count on was the fact that Fionn's costume could not be dried.  I guess faux velvet doesn't respond too well to extreme heat?  Anywho, it had to air dry.  Which meant that Fionn was costume-less at the Catholic U event the following night.  Ah, well.  He wore an orange shirt.  He lived. 

Here's a pic of Fionn at last week's playgroup when the costume still looked somewhat presentable.

Fionn donned his costume again last Saturday for a neighborhood party which meant that he was costume-less at the neighborhood parade on Sunday.  Darn.  Would've made for a really cute picture.  Although, as luck would have it, Fionn slept through the first half of the parade anyway.  So it wasn't a big deal.

So...We have finally arrived at October 31st.  The Real McCoy.  The Genuine Article.   Conor was able to get home early from work, and we headed down the street to a friend's house who hosted us for a little pre-trick-or-treat get-together.  Here is a pic of Mom and Pirate en route to Halloween Fun.

What?  My pirate ship was in the shop.

After some play and an early dinner, we headed out.  Fionn in his sports car, the other kids in their multi-car wagon.  How cute are they??

At the first few houses, Fionn seemed a bit confused.  We knock on doors and then we just stand there?  Heck, no!  I'm goin' in!

Yeah.  Fionn seemed to think that Halloween was a glorified Open House event.  Every time someone would open their door and bend down with a bowl of candy, Fionn would push through their legs and into their living rooms.  I took to exclaiming, "Watch out!  He's comin' in!" each time a door would open.  The nice neighborhood folks took it all in stride and seemed happy to provide interference for our little pirate.  Here is a pic of Fionn at the door, just waiting for an opportunity to make a break for it.

If you didn't already, you have to agree with me that the pirate costume was a pretty swell fit for our little fella.  Given his propensity toward home invasion and all.

After a few houses, Fionn seemed to get the hang out the whole thing a bit more.  He started to realize that staying put at the doorstep meant he got to select CANDY FROM A BOWL!  That was enough incentive for our boy.  He took to excitedly saying, "Too-too!  Too-too!" as he ran up each walkway.  In case you don't speak 17-month-old, that was Fionn's way of saying, "Trick-or-treat!" 

Due to Fionn's early bedtime, we cut our trick-or-treating experience pretty short this year.  I think we only hit about 5 houses.  But it was such a wonderful time.  I am already looking forward to next year.  Before heading in, we allowed Fionn to enjoy a bit of his pirate's booty.

Speaking of booty, I have to quickly include this recent little ditty from Our Life with Fionn.  Conor was watching a football game (Packers, Badgers, who knows really) recently and left the remote control within Fionn's reach.  He came to the kitchen to grab a snack or a beer or something.  He came back to this on the screen.

Thankfully, we do not subscribe to the Penthouse channel.  Anymore.  Hehe.

You can't fault him for trying, I guess.  But seriously, Kid...Big Booty Wives?  Let's keep it classy, Seamus Fionn.  At least a little Debbie Does Dallas or something vintage.  Geez.  

Seamus the Menace

I am beginning to realize that a mom can tell a whole lot about her kid by the comments she receives on a nearly daily basis from friends and strangers alike.  Here is a sampling from my current Top Ten List. 

• Boy, do you ever have your hands full!

• What beautiful eyes he has!

• Boy, does he have a lot of energy!

• How much does this kid weigh?  (said in a breathy voice as the other mom is struggling to carry my son across the room)

• Boy, does he keep you busy!

• He's so curious and inquisitive, isn't he? 

• Boy, you sure do get a workout, don't you?

I think you get the drift.  Apparently, we have an enormous kid with nice eyes and a whole lotta, shall we say, personality.

Soft pretzel?  Don't mind if I do!

Don't get me wrong.  We love our boy and wouldn't change him for the world.  He is funny, smart,  adventurous and downright fearless.  And we love that.  He is the apple of our eye, the sunshine of our life.  We are crazy, crazy, crazy about him.

I guess Fionny thought I needed to carbo load after my run.

But there are certainly times when I catch myself looking wistfully at other children who seem more content to...well, sit still for half a second, for instance.  Not that I want those other children instead of Fionn.  It's not that.  It's just that...well, sometimes it would be nice to be the mom who is just chilling out with her child in her lap.  Having, I dunno, actual conversations, instead of chasing a runaway train around the room all the time.

Let me draw you a picture of what I mean.  I recently took Fionn to an event that was entitled Toddler Art Time.  One would think from the title that said event would be at least somewhat appropriate for my little rascally boy.

Yes? Yes?

Oh, silly Mommy.  As soon as we crossed the threshold of the art space, I realized that we had ourselves a little problem.  Let's review the scene of the crime, shall we?

Identified Problem #1: The room included a snack table that was at eye level of my boy, complete with muffins and some sort of sweet bread (banana, zucchini...hell, airplane fuel muffins would still be enticing to Fionn if it had crumbs and a decent consistency).  As predicted, Fionny wasted no time pumping his little legs over to that well-stocked table.  Although I pushed several platters successfully out of his reach, I'm sad to say that at least two blueberry muffins were reduced to mere crumbs at hands of our kiddo.  Fionn is nobody's fool.  He knew I was hot on his tail, and he was trying desperately to cram both muffins into his mouth at the same time before I could catch him.  I tried to shrug at the other moms who were standing nearby, saying something along the lines of "Guess we'll be contributing toward the refreshments now, huh?"  Cue fake laugh as I extricate a $1 from my diaper bag and drop it into the snack donation jar.

It didn't end there, of course.  Once he saw that darn snack table, it became an obsession.  Must.  Have.  More.  Snacks.  I spent most of the next 10 minutes removing him repeatedly and tearfully from the vicinity of the snack table.  You would think I never feed him from the desperation to obtain these snacks.  For realz.

Identified Problem #2: There was a table with art supplies that was also within arms reach.  Squeeze bottles of paint (in bold, vibrant colors, of course), scissors, markers, Crayons...and, in case you missed it the first time, SQUEEZE BOTTLES OF PAINT!

At this juncture in the morning, I think I began to whimper a bit as I watched Fionn's eyes light up with interest as he scanned the room and settled on his next target.   You can almost hear the wheels turning and turning when his eyes begin to sparkle in this way.

All systems go!  Get those paints!  Squirt 'em, drink 'em, fling 'em around!  EVERYTHING I'M PRETTY SURE I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO!

Indeed, Fionn wriggled out of my arms in seconds flat and had a bottle of green paint in his grubby little paw before I could even cut him off at the pass.  I was able to wrestle the paint out of his grip before too much destruction occurred, but it was a close call, believe me.  It was around this time that another well-meaning mom said to me, "Boy, is he an active little guy!  You sure do have your hands full!  Do you think maybe he would sit in your lap and color?"

Ha.  Ha.  Ha.  I laughed my way all the way out the door, down the stairs, and to the car.  Back to the playground, kiddo.  Where our kind belongs.  And you know what?  That's just fine with me.

That's it for now.  Happy Halloween, friends!  We will post our pictures of The Cutest Toddler Pirate Ever very soon. In the meantime, here's a teaser.

Argh!  Someone needs a tissue.