Second

Hello, friends.  I know, I know.  It has been forever and a day since my last post.  As most of you know, it has been a jam-packed couple of weeks.  Most notably, we just returned from Fionn's Wish Trip this week which was over-the-top amazing.  Just...beyond words incredible.  This is part of the problem in terms of updating the blog.  It was such an amazing week that capturing it adequately through a blog post seems...well, pretty intimidating.  That said, I will definitely work on an epic blog post for sometime next week about our whole experience with Make-a-Wish and Disney.  Set your expectations low, and hopefully I will only minimally disappoint.

But tonight's installment (brought to you by my latest episode of insomnia) rightfully belongs to another special development.  Our Deaglan is TWO!

Yep, those are my grubby fingers on the left.  Didn't miss my calling as a hand model, that's for sure.

In many ways, it doesn't seem possible that two years have already gone by.  In other ways, two years does not feel like enough.  Was there truly a time when our family didn't include Baby Brother?  Of course, if I squint, I can remember those first three years without him.  But it is easier to remember these memories.

 

Still in the hospital and already interested in those fingers

Meeting his big brother for the first time

And, more recently, holding his nose when that same brother farted in the bathtub.

There have been so many times over the past year especially when Deaglan has come second.  In fact, it's probably easier to pinpoint times in which he was NOT relegated to second place over the past year.  He has been passed around between babysitters, family, and friends as we have clamored our way through Fionn's treatment regimen.  He has been ignored and pushed aside at times when there was only energy for one child, and it had to be Fionny.  He has been an afterthought in conversations ("Oh, and how's Deaglan?" after an hour-long update on Fionn) way too many times.

He has weathered it so well.  I hate that he has had to "weather" anything at the age of two, but so it is.  I will forever be grateful to my Deaglan for being forgiving to us this past year.  For seeming to understand that the world had to rotate solely around Fionny for awhile.  And just soaking up the love and attention that we were able to give.  We did our best, kiddo.  I hope it was okay.

Deaglan, I want to tell you that your sense of humor, affectionate nature, and quirky little personality helped me survive this past year.  Coming home from the anxiety and sterility of the hospital and knowing I could squeeze your fat, soft thighs and kiss your cool cheeks...it sometimes made everything else just melt away.  It made life seem manageable.  Although there are times when I bemoaned how difficult it was to have a 1-year-old underfoot while dealing with Fionny's medical issues, I would not trade your presence in this last year's adventure for the world.  You were my source of strength in many ways, sweet boy.  My respite from the nightmare that was our reality a lot of days. 

We love you so much, Dexie Dex.